Dear Acquaintance,

We’ve met. You know we’ve met. I know you know we’ve met. You know I know you know we’ve met. We met when your brother introduced us after mass many months ago. Or we met when our toddlers both reached for the same toy at that group play date thing we go to every other month. Or we met way back when our parents used to attend the same rotary club meetings and we stood behind them, silent teenagers, as they discussed random things.

We sha met.

But Acquaintance, you seem to have forgotten we’ve met. Last month, I caught sight of you as I hurried towards church. I looked at you, ready to smile and say Hi, but you stared past me stonily. It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so frightening. You frighten me. Your indifference reminds me of mean girls in secondary school and I thought we left such antics in 2003. Have I offended you in the past? Do you regret us meeting? Would you rather I pretended that we’d never met? Are you incapable of being an adult?

Because proper adults recognize that one chance meeting does not mean we have to be best friends. But at least, surely, we can make eye contact and smile at each other, right? We can nod. We can mouth a quick hello. It doesn’t diminish either of us to be friendly, right? Right?

See. This is 2018. I don’t do drama, I don’t do malice, I don’t do awkward impasses. So whether you like it or not, dear Acquaintance, I am going to call you by your name (I hope it’s the right one!) when you walk past me, pretending not to see me. I am going to call you and I am going to say “Hello!”. I am going to smile so hard, you will probably freak out a little. And you deserve it, you impudent elf. Since you cannot be civil, you will have to deal with what appears to be your biggest fear. Me trying very hard to be the best friend you obviously need to loosen you up.

I’m kidding. I don’t have the guts for that either. But I will try to catch your eye and smile, and wave a little. Because I don’t want to start/continue one of those awkward things where we end up studiously avoiding each other because we’ve made a point of ignoring ourselves for so long.

So what say you? Will you join my cause? Will you commit to eradicating awkward social interactions, one mutually shared wink at a time?