Author: Osemhen

The Dying Habits of an Agnostic – Tahirah Abdulazeez

Published by Osemhen

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays” The first humans, our direct ancestors, walked this Earth maybe 250, 000 years ago. The oldest monotheistic religion, depending on your point of view, is 5,000 years old. As we evolved, we discovered what we needed to survive in instalments. And then we refined the ideas. Along the way, there are stops and starts, a linear path will suddenly split off and go its own way, but the original idea continues to deepen, to distil. To me, faith is a type of intellectual refinement. It is the outcome of reason, an embodiment of, not its antithesis. For years I was an agnostic, unsure whether there was a God. After stumbling around looking for answers, I came upon the philosopher Kierkegaard. In Either/Or, he postulated that there are three types of development. The aesthetic, which is where you develop your tastes as an individual, the ethical where you assemble your value system, and the religious, which is the most important, when you realise that all …

On Punctuality

Published by Osemhen

Value : a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life. (Oxford Dictionary) 3 weeks ago, I began a Leadership Development course. There were at least 40 of us, most of us Nigerian. Our instructors were Nigerian (Funmi), Australian (Britta) and Dutch (Ocke). I learnt a lot in that course; I might blog about my experience in the near future. Right now, though, I want to tell you about an incident that happened on Day 4 of the 5-Day course. But a little backtracking first. Day 1, and we all identified values that were most important to us. Ocke told us that his people, the Dutch, were very practical and blunt, and so he appreciated directness, respect for other people and punctuality. He laid quite a bit of emphasis on just how important punctuality was to him. How he always was punctual to his appointments out of respect for other people and their time, and expected them to return the courtesy. Long and short of the story, he extracted a …

Learning to Forget – Tahirah Abdulazeez

Published by Osemhen

It may sound weird but when I first met Tahirah, I was struck by how similar our thought patterns were. We’re both nerds, scientists turned writers (or is it vice versa), and just the littlest bit dreamy. 🙂 We met at the Farafina Workshop, and I can’t help but imagine that even if we hadn’t then, eventually we would have. I present to you Tahirah (I also love her name) Abdulazeez. She blogs at http://avosilver.wordpress.com Years ago, I was asked two questions that resonated with me. The first was suitably mind bending, a philosophical trick question. The second seemed harmless. “What is your first memory?” Simple enough, but, it has been like one of those Chinese boxes. One answer or an attempt at an answer opens up a box with a smaller one inside, and so on until infinity. My first memory is of a car accident. We are in a Peugeot 504. The car crash happens and we end up at the side of the road. It is the middle of nowhere; the destination had been …

It's a Madt, Madt, Madt (sic) World – Tolu Oloruntoba

Published by Osemhen

Clash of the Tolus this week 🙂 Dr. Oloruntoba shares with three other young men the dubious honour of outwitting me. Twice. It was the Zain Africa Challenge; and his team eventually lifted the cup. If you know me personally, you know that I don’t swallow defeat easily. And so it’s a testament to Tolu’s character that, within a year, I went from bearing a king-sized grudge to numbering him among my most treasured friends. He’s the Chief Editor/Publisher of Klorofyl, the digital mag I’m always raving about. Follow him on Twitter @toluoloruntoba. A Special Edition of the Newsweek Magazine early this year had the very compelling theme: ‘It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world.’ Of course it is. And if you live in the developing world, it is mad, sometimes, to the fourth degree (or madt, in #NigerianTwitter-ese). It was a potent cocktail of inspiring stories we grew up on – of fairy-tales or folk tales, and Hollywood, adventure and possibility. We wanted to believe we COULD… we wanted, (needed?) to transcend our limitations …

The Importance of Being Earnest…Or Tolu – Tolu Talabi

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Continuing the TedPosts with one by Tolu Talabi. I met Tolu at the Farafina Creative Writing Workshop last year. I literally have no words to describe him but for an idea on how his mind works, follow him on Twitter @naijarookie or get on his blog http://naijarookie.wordpress.com. Seriously. Check out his blog. I don’t know if you saw this a few weeks ago. There was a two leg soccer match between the Under-17 female teams of Nigeria and Kenya. At the end of the first leg, which Nigeria won, the Kenyan team complained that Nigeria cheated because they had players that were over the age of 17. The Nigerian sports commentator reporting said (very smugly) that Kenya should stop making excuses for losing. I found the whole episode hilarious (Nigeria using under-aged players? No way!) but it got me thinking about age and how much we expect from people at a young age. You see, at 16, even if you’re not being called upon to play football for your country, you’re probably finishing up …

The Gospel According to Mark

Published by Osemhen

Today, I put up the second Ted-Post by Mark Amaza. I met Mark (Twitter handle: @amasonic) at the Zain Africa Challenge in 2009. In the 3 years I’ve known him, Mark’s passion and fierce patriotism have inspired me. When I got the idea for the Ted-Posts, I knew it would be incomplete if he didn’t write in. So here. I present his piece. I have always been very proud of my heritage and my roots as a Nigerian first, then a Christian and a Northerner next. There is always pride in my voice when I meet people from the South and I tell them that I am a Christian from Borno State, and how I tell everyone how multi-religious my extended family is, the fact that my maternal grandfather is a Muslim and was even the muezzin of his village till old age caught up with him, and how I have numerous uncles and aunts who are Muslims, some of whom grew up with us. But this nice story of religious co-existence is not everywhere …

Broken – Joseph E. Parker

Published by Osemhen

I first “met” Joseph last year when I was sourcing for writers to write in for the soon-to-be-released City Issue of Klorofyl. I use the term “met” loosely. We met on Twitter, and even though we’ve been in correspondence for a while, we’re yet to meet in person. Joseph is a poet. There aren’t a lot of poets whose work I understand and appreciate, but I’m a big fan of his. His poems are uncommonly fluid and lucid, and I find them beautiful. I can’t tell you how pleased I was that he agreed to write in for this series and I recommend you stop by his blog when you’re done here. “Something’s missing,” John Mayer wrote, “and I don’t know what it is.” Something is missing. Something essential. Something necessary to making a difference in the world. And most are afraid to find out what it is. Why is this? Why do we feel this void within? We long for what we can’t have and inevitably grow disillusioned. Why should it come as …

Ted-Posts, Lent and Broken Laptops

Published by Osemhen

Early this year, one of my friends asked me, “If you could give a Ted-Talk on any subject of your choice, what would you talk about?” It took me awhile to answer but I replied, “The importance of singularity, of not taking your cues from the crowd and daring to stand alone.” But his question has haunted me over the past one month and I realize now that I’d actually talk about something else, if I got the chance. I’d talk about the importance of friends. Because no matter how much I want to believe that I have always done my thing, it would be slightly dishonest. I am the sum-total of all the people I have let into my life. And everything good about me, I have because I aped someone else. Ditto everything bad 🙂 (this is a sub to relevant parties. You know yourself). But honestly, I have been privileged to know and count among my friends, some pretty cool people. And I want to share them with you via “Ted-Posts”. If …

On Missing Lagos

Published by Osemhen

You were born, bred and “buttered” in Lagos. It wasn’t that your parents consciously made the effort. Secondary school was incidental; the schools you applied to outside Lagos didn’t want you. Ditto, university. By the time NYSC rolled around, you weren’t interested in seeing the rest of the country. Lagos was home, and you couldn’t imagine leaving it for the hinterlands. You eventually left, though. Work made you. You figured at the time that it wasn’t a big deal; Lagos is an hour away by air. The new climate is wetter, but pretty much the same. The houses are the same, the people as well. The difference in accents is only there if one looks for it. You had friends, relatives who had been transplanted as well but they didn’t seem the worse for wear. You’ll be fine, they said, it’ll be fine. No one told you about the yen. You didn’t know you would be so sensitive, that you would miss the intangible; sleeping in your old bed, knowing your way around town, familiarity, belonging. …

I'm Developing A Pot-Belly and Other Sundry Matters

Published by Osemhen

And it sucks. Pun intended. Saturday, I travelled to Enugu. I’d never been there, and just the thought of the journey by road filled me with all sorts of queasiness. I imagined armed robbers, deadly encounters with speeding trailers, flat tyres, the driver missing his way… Fortunately, things weren’t so exciting. The trip was 4 hours of unrelieved tedium I spent thinking, reading, wondering. About doing the right things versus doing what was right. About things like adulthood and responsibility and maturity. Someone once wrote that the first mark of maturity is serenity. If she’s right, then I don’t think I’ll ever be mature. I can’t be serene; I have some sort of mental Tourette’s. I fidget, and when I start talking, sometimes I can’t stop. It’s who I am. I can’t say I don’t wish I was serene. I do. But it’s not a gift the good Lord has seen fit to bless me with yet. Is adulthood something that happens to you whether or not you want it, or is it something you choose? …