Author: Osemhen

Good People

Published by Osemhen

I noticed when you joined the queue, you both wore suits and I wondered if you were married. I wondered where you worked. Idle thoughts, I was more concerned with getting a seat on the 7pm Aero flight to Lagos. It was the last flight out of Port Harcourt with free seats. My heart sank when, after almost 20 minutes on the queue, the Aero teller announced that the POS machine wasn’t working. I’d have to pay cash. I didn’t have any cash . I heard you mutter that you didn’t have any cash either. This was 5:20. I made my way to the ATM, to the queues that dragged. I was number 7 on one queue; fifteen minutes later, you joined the other queue. My GTB card did not work. 20 minutes on the ATM queue, and my card did not work. I stepped off the queue. You asked me what the problem was. I replied that I needed to transfer money to my First Bank card so I could use it. You got …

I Did A Life Audit Instead Of Just Making Resolutions…I Think It Worked

Published by Osemhen

I know, I know. In the last post, more readers voted for the Zeus and Amadioha piece. But as I started writing it, I realized that the pictures I wanted to use were in my camera and it’s hundreds of kilometers away. I’ll have it by next week, though. So I promise that piece then. Forgiven? Thanks! 🙂 I stumbled across the idea of a Life Audit on FastCompany. The concept is simple enough. You lock yourself in a room with a pen and a stack of blank Post-it notes and a bottle of water (because the process makes you thirsty, apparently). If you need to, you put a “Do Not Disturb” sign outside. Then you start to write your goals. Every single one of them, no matter how outlandish or silly. No matter how big. One goal per Post-It. This process can take anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours. I actually did this over a 3-day period; I couldn’t find the time to do it at once. When you’re spent (or you run …

First Post of 2015

Published by Osemhen

Today I smiled at my own reflection in the mirror. I was alone. This hasn’t happened in a long time, a very long time. Don’t get me wrong, I smile all the time, everyday. I smile at strangers, I smile at friends, I smile flicking through pictures on my phone. But it’s been a long time since I smiled, really smiled at my reflection in the mirror and meant it. I don’t even know what it means but it felt good. I’ve missed writing. I’ve been scared, though. Scared to write because it forces me to face my emotions. But yes, this is me facing my emotions. How are you? It’s Lent, one of my favorite seasons. I love Lenten hymns. I love saying the Stations of the Cross. I like the results that come from the typical Lenten observances. Simply trying to reduce my usual indulgences has a profound effect on my peace of mind and my productivity. I wonder why I don’t practice the same ascetism all year round. I have many things …

You Are Legend

Published by Osemhen

I thought I knew what loss was when I wrote “Laughter & Champagne.” But this is worse. His room still smells of him. I never noticed till he was gone. But his room has a distinct smell. It is the scent of Icy-Hot, the smell of folic acid, a hint of Dettol Cool and Vaseline Aloe-Vera. This is what his room smells like. This is how to console a bereaved person. Visit…and sit in silence, saying nothing. Or saying a lot, distracting them. Bring food in Ziplocs and plastic bowls. So that we do not have to cook. Do the dishes that keep mounting up because “guests” persist in eating the food other people have brought to console the family. Sweep. This is how not to console a bereaved person. Hold them too tightly when they cry. We don’t cry because we want hugs. We cry so that the sadness does not implode in our chests. We cry because we miss our love, because we can’t imagine the rest of our lives without hearing their …

These Words Expose Us…

Published by Osemhen

So I have a bit of news 🙂 I may or may not have mentioned that one of my stories got accepted for publication in an anthology. The good news is that the anthology is finally out! *rings bell* The anthology is titled, “These Words Expose Us” (intriguing, I know) and the theme is words. We were challenged to “explore just how important the words we say (or don’t say to each other), affect our lives and relationships with others sometimes for the better and sometimes unfortunately, the worse”. A lot of the stories did justice to that theme, if I do say so myself 🙂 But seriously, the stories and the writing are pretty good. I’m especially proud of the fact that more Africans are starting to own our writing space, as writers and publishers. We’ve been a bit hesitant, I think and this project is a step towards challenging the status quo. We’re telling our own stories, and we’re telling them with a nod to the past, a grasp of our present reality and our eyes on the …

26.

Published by Osemhen

I was going to do a proper blog post but my heart is too full. Instead, I’m sharing my favourite memories from the past year (as captured in various pictures). In chronological order… 🙂 That time a bunch of strangers in Lagos all agreed to hang out at Bogobiri and discuss politics, relationships and just chill. 🙂 That time he traveled from Lagos to PH just to surprise me on Valentine’s Day. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw him! That time a different set of friends decided to shoot our own “Happy in Port Harcourt” video, and it turned into a picnic with chocolate cake, popcorn, puff-puff and zobo 🙂 We will release that video…one day. That time he asked me to be his wife <3 🙂 That time we decided to take a family portrait just as I was stepping out of the shower with my freshly washed hair still dripping! I was worried but I think it turned out okay 😀 That time he brought me a birthday cake, and …

Resources That Make My Life Easier… (Part 1)

Published by Osemhen

Hello, everyone So I thought I’d share some of the things I use/do that make my life easier. This might help you if you’re trying to get a handle on living as a responsible adult (I wish adulthood came with a manual!). First, my top 5 apps (they’re all available on the iTunes and Play Stores): Any.do: Amazing app that helps me create and track my To-Do List. It prompts me to plan my day, and then rings a little alarm when tasks are due to be started. Duolingo: Another amazing app that teaches me languages in bite-sized lessons every day. I’m now learning Spanish. Moneywise: Helps me track my daily expenditure. It requires a bit of work (you have to enter every single expense) but it’s worth it. At the end of the month, I can compare my expenses to my planned budget, identify the areas where I spent the most money, and make corrections to my spending habits as necessary. Nike Training Club: A free fitness app. Yay! Basically it’s a personal trainer on …

Conversations With a Gold Digger

Published by Osemhen

But I got bored with Excel sheets, and VLOOKUP and Pivot tables so I decided to doodle instead. And I wrote this. Hope it relieves the doldrums of your Monday like it did mine. Her: I have a date tomorrow. Him: Do you now? Her: Yup! Him: Is he tall, dark and handsome? Her: Yup! Him: Is he rich? Her: Stinking rich. Him: He’s going to use you and dump you. Her: How do you know that? Him: Because guys like him don’t date girls like you with your Erykah Badu hair and your weird political ideas. Her: I do not have weird political ideas. Him: You think Mandela was a communist! Her: But he was. Him: Tall, dark and handsome men don’t become rich holding opinions like that. You aren’t suited for each other. It’ll be all over in a week. Her: You’re just jealous. Him: Of course I am. How can you go on a date with a tall, dark, handsome and rich fella? What if he steals you away from me? Her: …

A Lenten Reflection on Faith

Published by Osemhen

This is who I am. This woman in her mid-twenties, with a day job and a writing itch. A daughter. A sister. The “best girlfriend in the world”. A cousin. A niece. A best friend. A friend. A colleague. A side-kick. A buddy. A Catholic. A practicing Catholic. And what does that even mean? I left the Catholic Church as a teenager. I was disillusioned by many of the adult Catholics around me including, it must be said, a couple of priests. I didn’t understand the “idol worship”, or how the Catholic Church could help me develop the faith I needed to move the mountains in my life. And there were many mountains that needed moving. So I left in search of the Light. And I found it…in the Catholic Church. Let me explain. I searched in other churches, and I found sparks, glimmers that whetted my appetite. In one of the pentecostal fellowships I joined in university, I learnt to study sacred Scripture. In another, I learned to give to the church, to only …

Which Were Your Favourite Books of 2013?

Published by Osemhen

The year’s winding up, and as usual, I want to find out which of the books you read in 2013 had the most effect on you, and why. Please share your favourite fiction book, and your favourite non-fiction book. You can reply in the comments’ section and you can take the conversation to Twitter/Facebook with the hashtag #abookIreadin2013. I’ll go first. Favourite Fiction Book of 2013: This was a difficult choice because I read so many fantastic books this year. But Khaled Hosseini’s “And The Mountains Echoed” wins, beating “Children of the Jacaranda Tree” and “Burma Boy”. I love how Khaled writes, I love his stories, I love the sense of kinship I feel with Afghans after reading his books. I totally recommend this book. Favourite Non-Fiction Book of 2013: This was an easy choice. Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In (labelled the “Feminist Bible” in some circles) is a thought-provoking book for women who have careers outside of their homes. I don’t agree with all of Sheryl’s ideas (e.g. I don’t think it’s as easy as she makes it …