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Blessed Are The Merciful: Shelter the Homeless

Published by Osemhen

When I count my blessings, having a roof over my head comes in the top 5. I never take it for granted because at a point in my childhood, we were almost homeless. Our landlord decided he wanted to demolish our home and build a block of flats instead. We got a quit notice. We started building a house someplace else but were unable to finish it before our eviction deadline. We moved into the new house literally in the middle of construction. That was an interesting experience. 🙂

We had a happy ending. Not everyone is this lucky. I’m thinking of the Internally Displaced Persons who have fled their homes and livelihoods in the North because of Boko Haram. I’m thinking of unemployed young people in Lagos who sleep under bridges, in buses, in doorways. I’m thinking of the beggars on our streets. I’m thinking of the ones we call “mad” who really are just homeless people rendered anti-social by the way we treat them.

“Be merciful as your heavenly Father is merciful.” We are God’s tools in the world, and he wants to use us to bring succour to others. He gives us ample opportunity to show his love in the world, and we cannot ignore this. On a global level, there are the Syrian refugees seeking asylum and yes, they feel so remote, so far from our current reality but again, we cannot ignore them. And then there are all the people displaced by conflicts that aren’t covered on CNN, wars that we know nothing about, natural disasters and economic factors that we are ignorant of. It seems daunting, doesn’t it?

Because the problem is pervasive, we face the temptation to be like the rich man in the parable; we no longer see the Lazarus we practically have to step over.

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Heb 13:2)

Still, like Mother Theresa used to say, Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest to you. If you can’t feed 100 people, then feed one. I dare paraphrase and say, “If we can’t shelter 100 people, we should shelter one.” Let’s start, shall we?

Donate money, clothes, food, blankets, toiletries to a fund for IDPs/IDP camps. Donate locally, donate internationally.
Welcome others to your home. Make your home environment pleasing.
Find an orphanage, homeless shelter or old people’s home in your neighbourhood. Organize a service project with your friends. (p.s. if anyone knows any of the above in the Lagos Island-VI-Ikoyi-Lekki axis, please let me know! Thanks!)
Help an unemployed person find a job. Offer to review their CV, write a reference, call in a favour, employ them if you can!
Consider that if you earn a living now to put a roof over your family’s heads (or you contribute in some way), you’re already living this work of mercy in a practical way. Try to see it from a spiritual point of view, and thank God that He’s given you the means to do His work.
Someone you know somewhere is struggling to pay rent or has been evicted. How can you help out?

What else would you add?

Blessed Are The Merciful: Clothing the Naked

Published by Osemhen

“…I was naked and you clothed me.” Matthew 25: 35-36

I wonder what I should write about this. It seems easy enough, doesn’t it? “Clothe the naked”. We should spring-clean our closets and give to the poor all the clothes we no longer want. The problem is that I hardly ever do this with a proper Christian attitude, with what some of my friends would call “rectitude of intention”. The clothes I give out are usually over-size or too tight or faded/worn or out of fashion. Cleaning out my closet is then less of a sacrifice, and more of a necessity. Yay. Free space in closet. Done good deed for the month. Gotten moral justification. Must shop.

I don’t know. I think I could do better. I think God would want me to do better.

Clothing serves two purposes. Protection from the elements and preservation of dignity. The last point is key because it also highlights something we often overlook: the origin of some of the clothes we wear.

Behind many major clothing labels are sweatshops, in 3rd world countries, crammed with women and children, working in the most inhumane conditions to stitch the denim you and I wear. Our money funds that industry that strips many families of their dignity, of any hope of a decent living income. Let’s think about it for a second.

And let’s think about the fact that if clothing the naked is a virtue, then stripping the clothed must be a sin. On first reflection, this denounces crimes especially of a sexual nature, crimes of abuse against the vulnerable, children included. But there’s a deeper layer to this. There’s the porn industry that makes money from stripping men, women and children naked, stripping them of the right to basic human dignity. And how have we participated in this?

And clothing the naked goes beyond physical nakedness to include emotional vulnerability. When I see someone who’s emotionally naked, how do I react? When someone’s secrets or flaws or problems are suddenly made public against their will, do I join in the online gawking? The snide remarks? The social media shaming? Or do I “clothe” them by averting my gaze, by being kind in my thoughts, by praying for them to be resilient against the often merciless onslaught of social-media justice?

This post is a lot heavier than I want it to be, than I thought it would be. But I did pray for the words, and here they are. Do with them what you will.

How can we clothe the naked?

We Should All Be Mad

Published by Osemhen

What are you mad about?

When I was younger, I was taught/told that all I had to do was get good marks, pass my exams and graduate with a good degree. I’d have a job, and with it financial security and independence. The lines would fall in all the right places. And they did. For some people. Some are lucky to have jobs when they graduate. But for the majority, there are no jobs. Not because they’re unqualified, not because they’re incompetent. No. Sheer (bad?) luck. A tragic game of musical chairs and I am mad, so mad that my family and friends are unemployed or underemployed and there doesn’t seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

What are you mad about?

My friend’s mother died earlier this year because she couldn’t get emergency dialysis done in the middle of the night. Another friend slumped while jogging. Government hospitals ask expectant mothers to come for delivery with candles, diesel, rechargeable flash lights. Women die in childbirth of the most routine causes. Babies die, children die of diseases and complications that shouldn’t kill anyone in the 21st century. Doctors can’t afford middle-class lifestyles. Surgeries are carried out with torches. And I am mad (and scared) that if my loved ones need emergency medical intervention, they probably will not get it.

What are you mad about?

I cook with “pure” water in my home; our bore hole water is so heavily treated, I dare not put it in my food. The Water Corporation is the sad punchline of a mirthless joke. My street association is considering levying us all to pave the street. The local government is a joke. At some point, we were considering hiring private security guards. Because the police is not our friend. As I type this, the cacophony of generators is giving me a headache. The rain probably knocked out a few power lines. Our street is flooded. No drains. And I’m mad, mad, mad that I’m forced to pay 24% of my income as tax for amenities I do not get.

What are you mad about?

I’m mad about the indiscipline we exhibit when we drive on our roads, queue at banks and gather in public. I’m mad about bad roads that kill people. I’m mad about traffic that shortens my life span. I’m mad about officers that harass me instead of helping me. I’m mad that children are leaving primary school who can’t read. I’m mad that some people get to live by a different set of rules. And not just the rich and powerful either. Have you noticed how danfo drivers get away with all sorts of traffic infractions but LASTMA will fine you for stopping your car on a zebra crossing?

What are you mad about? And what do you hope for? And is your hope strong enough that you want to do something about it? To write about it, to talk about it? To meet up with your friends and do something about it? Do you feel strongly enough to form your own political party? Or to join one of the others? Are you moved enough to volunteer for a good cause? Are you mad enough?

The Woman You Married

Published by Osemhen

Look.

Look at her, the woman you married. Look at her dozing as she nurses your child, make-up still on her face, one shoe off. Look at her doing the last of the dishes in the evening, still in her work clothes. Look at her as she patiently spoons rice into your toddler’s mouth, barely flinching as the child spills yet another cupful of water on the floor. Look at her.

Look at her “adulting”. Trying to adult. Trying to be her mother, and her aunts, and her grandmothers. Trying to do it all, like she’s seen them do it all. Wear lace, walk in heels, attend weddings, go to the market, manage the domestic staff, do the last load of laundry. Can you tell we’re actually just little girls playing dress-up in our mothers’ lives?

Look at her, smiling gamely as the baby places hands sticky with drool on her face. Look at her teaching your daughter to lace her shoes. Look at her, sighing with disgust at the fact that her jeans no longer fit. Neither do her tee-shirts. Nor the sequined mini-dress you bought her two Valentines ago.

“I love my child more than I love her. And she knows it. And she knows that I know that she knows it.”

Look at her loving you despite it all. Look at her, the girl you wooed with gifts and dates and text messages after dark. And you promised her forever when you gave her that ring. How was she to know it was forever of…this? Of dirty dishes, and dirty diapers. Of Saturday football matches and box braids. Of rice and stew dinners. Of rainy Mondays. Of sharing the same bar of Imperial Leather soap. Of Toyota Camrys with strange warning lights on their dashboards. Of kiddy toys that light up in the dark by themselves at the oddest times, playing cheerful trumpets. Of the flotsam, jetsam, detritus of everyday living when you’re a young, bourgeois couple in this cold, cold world. Where is the glamour?

The absence of sadness is not happiness. I thought you knew that already.

Love her again, maybe? Love her, this time not with kisses and gifts and date nights at fancy restaurants. Love her in the simple things. Time to read a book. To write. To catch up with her friends. Quiet conversations about deep things. Hold her hand. Pray with her. Pray for her. Hold the baby for an hour, two hours. Love her in the things she loves. Her job. How did her day go? Her extended family. Love her with your patience. When she snaps. When dinner is straight out of the Old Testament: Burnt Offerings and Bloody Sacrifices. Make her laugh again. Remember? Like you used to before you made her your wife.

Blessed Are The Merciful: Difficult Conversations

Published by Osemhen

Thank you, guys, for sticking around despite my inconsistent blogging. 🙂 How’ve you been? I’ve missed this.

Anyways, I’m so behind on my posting schedule for the Works of Mercy series. I was wondering how I’d even catch up but then I realized that a number of them have the same themes. 😀 (No, it’s not cheating.)
St. Paul is one of my favorite saints. His conversion story reminds me of God’s infinite mercy. How else could one man go from being a terrorist (think Isis-type of religious persecution of Christians) to being one of Christianity’s biggest proponents? Seriously.

But in all the drama of Paul’s life there’s a character who’s sometimes forgotten. Ananias of Damascus. The believer through whom Paul’s sight was restored. The one who gave him his first instruction and then baptized him.

This month, I’m focusing on the first 3 Spiritual Works of Mercy.

To counsel the doubtful
Teach the ignorant
Admonish sinners

All of us know dozens of “ignorant” people we would just love to “instruct” i.e. Tell how to see and do things our way. Lol. No, that’s not what this is about. Ignorant in this case doesn’t mean stupid or foolish. It means someone who doesn’t know. The way I don’t know how to speak French 😀. Teaching the Ignorant is about helping people understand and learn.

The thing about the Spiritual Works is that they are kind acts by which we help our neighbours/friends/family with their everyday spiritual and emotional needs.

Obviously, the most important thing to learn is the way to salvation. But being lay people, we run the risk of unwittingly propagating error, if we’re not careful.

To help, we must first “have”. That seems obvious when we consider the physical works of mercy. To feed someone, we need to have food. And if we apply that to “counseling the doubtful”, for instance, it’s only logical that we have faith ourselves first.

That’s why the most important first step is to get a spiritual director; someone who you sufficiently trust to mentor you on matters of the faith. Your very own Ananias.

I find that I can deal with “teaching” and “counseling”. God has been patient with me; I’ve learned so much from my life experiences and conversations with others. And I’m always willing to share what I’ve learned when I think it’ll help.

I struggle when I think of “admonishing”. Because I know myself. I look at myself in the mirror and Psalm 51:3 flashes before my eyes. I know my transgressions and my sin is always before me. I don’t think I’m in any way qualified to admonish people for sins, not when mine may be “worse”. Not when I consider that if I had those particular temptations, I might also succumb.

But we’re all struggling, right? And we encourage each other. In the end, I think I’d want to be corrected (lovingly 😀) when I do the wrong thing.

So here are a few ideas:

Commit yourself to learning about the Christian faith and forming your conscience, and then share what you learn with others.
Read good literature, listen to good music, watch good shows and encourage others to do the same.
Take time to tutor someone who’s just beginning a task (think of your younger siblings, or colleagues. How many times have you lost your patience with someone who couldn’t seem to figure out how to do something?)
Share your insights, knowledge and skills. (Popular thinking might have you hoarding information to stay “competitive”. Say No to this mindset. Help someone.)
Be compassionate in calling people and institutions to be faithful to Gospel values. Edward Burke said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Sometimes, simply saying something is all we can do.
Intervene in situations where people are clearly doing harm to themselves or others.
Respond to negative and prejudicial comments with positive statements.
Put an end to gossip by walking away or ignoring it or refusing to respond.
Set a good example for others.

What do you think? Do you have any ideas how else we could live this work of mercy?

The Art of Balance: Creativity and Your Day-Job

Published by Osemhen

My friend, Ozoz, is a phenomenon.

She’s a geologist, a blogger, a recipe creator, a “traveller by plate”, a photographer and a cook. She’s also a mom. She’s given a TedTalk, appeared on TV a few times, held a photography exhibition and recently collaborated on #TechmeetsArtng.

I, on the other hand, struggle with staying awake long enough to update my blog.

Forget work-life balance. I’m not even sure what that is.

I think about this often: how to balance my day-job with my creative life, my social obligations, my family life, my spiritual life …and a need to sleep. Sleep is winning, I must admit.

Someone commented once that she’s not sure how I do everything. The truth is, I don’t. Some days, I should be writing and I just want to bake chocolate chip cookies instead. So I bake the cookies and eat them as I mindlessly scroll through Pinterest and Twitter.

I console myself with this TedTalk by Nigel Marsh. I’ve listed it in my post on the 5 TedTalks Every Young Professional should watch. In this particular TedTalk, Nigel jokes about being able to balance his life only after he quit his job. Lol.

Importantly, he talks about achieving work-life balance long term, not day-to-day. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Sometimes, work is pretty hectic for a month or so, and there’s no way to “balance” things without looking like a jerk to your team mates. And then, there are periods when things are sort of chill, and so you can easily take time off to do other stuff.

Still, I admit I could make more effort. So when @theIbukun pointed out on Instagram that the Google Calendar app allowed you to schedule your micro-goals, I immediately downloaded it. (Clearly I depend a lot on technology to keep my life organized. Re: my post on my favorite apps.)

I’m trying to kick off my old habit of doing “pages” first thing in the morning. I have to wake up early enough to write 3 pages in my journal. Rant and ramble. I got into it because I read The Artist’s Way last year. I can do it. Technically, I’m awake feeding my lad at 4:30 am. But then once I’m done, I just want to close my eyes and catch the last 30 minutes of sleep before my alarm goes off. I told you sleep was winning.

What do you think? Do you have your life all balanced out? How do you do it? Or are you struggling too?

P.s. If you’ve asked me a question in the last few months (via comments, emails, the Facebook page or the contact box) that I’m yet to respond to, please resend it and I’ll get to it asap. Thanks!

Food Hacks: For the Love of Moin-Moin

Published by Osemhen

I wish I could say I was adapting to motherhood. But it’s not exactly true, is it? Motherhood doesn’t give room for “adaptation”. It seizes its share of your life, your time, your space.

And I could go on and on about how it’s a good kind of “baby takeover” or conversely, how important I think it is to maintain one’s autonomy in the face of a baby’s subtle manipulation (lol!) but this is not that kind of post.

No, it’s not. I want to talk about food instead. Specifically, I want to talk about moi-moi.

If Nigerians were into superfoods and all what not, moi-moi would be a superfood. It ticks all the right boxes. High-protein (especially when filled with fish), check. Bulky enough to be filling, check. Nutty umami-ness, check. I love moi-moi. I’m not so crazy about all the work required to make it.

These days, though, I’m making it once a week. Thanks to two hacks I discovered about roughly the same time.

The first is bean flour. No, not the commercial ones with their weird chemical taste. This bean flour is homemade. Simply soak beans, peel them, sun-dry for as long as necessary and then mill it. Voila! I like this hack because it saves time in the long run. When I’m ready to eat moi moi, I simply blend the flour with peppers and onions and in less than 5 minutes, I have moi-moi batter.

Another hack is to peel beans with a food processor but I’ve never quite gotten the hang of that.

Yet a third hack is to forget about peeling the beans and simply blend soaked beans with onions and peppers. I haven’t tried this either but I hear it doesn’t make a difference in taste.

I’m seriously considering milling dry, unpeeled beans. No, it’s not laziness. Lol. I mean, didn’t you hear that the skin of the beans holds the majority of the protein content?

Anyhow, guess what else I found? Silicone moi-moi moulds. That’s right. Someone came up with this nifty product so I don’t have to wrap my moi-moi in banana leaves. Because I don’t even have the strength right now.

I like the fact that they have little lids. Basically, I transfer these babies from the pot to the fridge to the microwave oven to my lunch bag. Silicone wrap 1, banana leaves 0. Convenient, check.

The manufacturers claim you can also bake muffins with the moulds but trapezium-shaped desserts aren’t my thing right now. I can see that happening in my future, though. I can also use them as food molds for when I want to get fancy with presentation.
If you’re going to use them for moi-moi, I’d recommend you lightly grease the insides first. My experience was that it made it easier to get the moi moi out.

And I can’t believe I just did a whole blog post on moi-moi. Lol. Okay, I’m going now. At least, I’ve done a post.

P.s. Disclaimer: This is not an ad or a sponsored post. However, the manufacturers did send me a pack for review purposes. If you’d like to buy a pack, here’s their store.

P.p.s. If you’re wondering which recipe I use, I modified this one from dooneyskitchen.com.

Nigerian Blogs I Love: Ihunda’s Musings

Published by Osemhen

One of my blog resolutions is to share bloggers I love with my readers. I think it’s important for you to know there are so many good bloggers out there.

I don’t remember exactly when I started following Afoma’s blog and Instagram feed. Right now, it feels like a long time ago. What delights me about her photographs? The colors, maybe. The charm she captures…the details. Her mindfulness (something I’ve been working on forever). We share a fondness for H&M blouses. And I must admit to a slight envy. Of her talent with the camera and the fact that she goes to school on a beautiful island. And yes, she’s a student. A medical student. How cool is that?

Describe your blog with five words.

Personal. Inspiring. Delightful. Happy place.

Why did you start your blog?

I was in dire need of self-expression. I was 16 and tired of talking to myself constantly (which I still do). I somehow caught the oversharing bug before I even knew it was a thing. If you look back at posts from three years before, you’ll notice there was a lot more rambling and sharing. It was so exciting for me. While I still enjoy it now, I definitely am more cautious as to what I share.

I know you’ve blogged about your typical day here, but what would your ideal day look like?

Right now, I’m smack in the middle of preparing for the USMLE (medical exam) Step 1, so my ideal day would be:

5:00- wake up. Read my devotional and bible. Pray.

5:30- Do a test block (44 questions), annotate answers into textbook.

8:30- Make/Eat breakfast

9:00- Study material for the day. I’m doing system based study (Sorry guys, this is getting really medical student ish) so I’ll usually do, for example renal system anatomy & physiology first.

12:00- Take a break to make lunch. Watch TV while I eat.

1:00- Do another question block.

4:00- Take a break to shower. I also do *ahem* pajama based studying. It’s very efficient.

4:30- Have tea and a chocolate bar.

5:00- Study pathology and pharmacology of same system.

9:00- Make dinner

10:00- Unwind with a good book or podcast. Text friends in other timezones.

11:00- Bed time!

Who would you love to connect with via your blog?

Women. I really love connecting with young girls and women who read my blog. Of course, I’ve made a number of male friends via my blog and I appreciate every single one of them, but it’s a bit different with the lady friends I’ve made and it’s honestly the most enjoyable part of my experience as a blogger.

If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what do you hope to accomplish?

One of my goals this year (after my exams, hoho) is to be more open (as much as I can afford to be) about struggles and not just great times. I read so many bloggers who with their blog posts almost sort of hold your hand and say “you’re not alone”. I want to do that more.

I’m also trying to connect more with the med student community without alienating my other readers. I’ve become even more passionate about medicine and my medical career (and the struggles that abound) in the last year and I think about it as much as I do books (even more than fashion, since I’ve been studying in sleep wear) and I’m itching to talk about it somehow.

I love my current community of blog readers but I’d like to add a few more people; not just numbers, but actively participating members who’ll share the blog with people they think might like something. I hope to have regained consistency by the end of the year as well J

If you could only keep 5 possessions, what would they be?

Passport. My phone. Journal(s). Old photo albums. Clothes on my back? (this was so stressful)

Favorite childhood memory?

Ah. This one time, when I was about 7/8, we went to my dad’s office party. I think it was their anniversary or something. It was at the Port Harcourt amusement park (I’ve forgotten what it used to be called) and we went on nearly ALL of the rides, my brother and I. The thrill was unforgettable. Then it was late afternoon and they started to play music. I’ve always loved dancing, so you should have seen me! I did the go-all-the-way-down-and-come-back-up move. Everyone was cheering and some of the adults pretended to compete with me and then gave up (or maybe they really gave up? I’m a machine on the dance floor). It was one of those times when every single person around you is happy and there’s not a care in the world.

Please check out her blog: www.ihundasmusings.com and let me know what you think. Who are your favorite Nigerian bloggers?

Things To Give Up This Lent: A List of Ideas

Published by Osemhen

We interrupt our regular “Blessed Are The Merciful” series to bring you this Lenten edition. 😀

So Lent begins officially on Wednesday. That’s tomorrow. Traditionally, these 40 days before Easter are dedicated to fasting, alms giving and prayer. The model is Christ’s example; he spent 40 days in the wilderness fasting and praying. Most people remember the fasting; not everyone remembers giving alms and using the season to deepen our prayer life.

And when we say fasting, people automatically think of food. Then there are all the various modes of fasting as practiced by the various denominations. 6am to 6pm fasting, one-large-meal per day fasting, dry fasting (no liquids, no food), one normal-sized meal per day and liquids (Milo, Lucozade etc.) to supplement… I could go on.

For clarity, these are the rules for fasting in the Catholic Church:

Ash Wednesday and Good Friday are prescribed days of fasting and abstinence (from the flesh of all animals except fish) for Catholics between the ages of 18 and 59. The ill, pregnant and nursing mothers are exempt. The age of abstinence is 14 years till death.
Every Friday in Lent is a day of abstinence.
The prescribed fasts entail one full, meatless meal that day. Liquids are permitted but the faithful are encouraged to be guided by their consciences. Two smaller, meatless and penitential meals are permitted according to one’s needs, but they should not together equal the one full meal. Eating solid foods between meals is not permitted.

Other churches might have a different code. Confirm with your pastor/deacon.

But fasting and abstinence don’t have to be about food alone. Giving up licit pleasures and bad habits are another way to mortify ourselves this season. Some people prefer to discipline themselves and take up new, helpful habits. The choices are many, the benefits worthwhile. In the end, it is a time for renewing our baptismal vows, for reflecting on our conversion and our vocation as Christians and children of God. We are God’s children! We don’t often act like we know it, sometimes our lifestyles are indistinguishable from that of pagans. Lent is an opportunity to rectify this and let the life of Christ shine through. Let’s do it!

Just in case you’re stumped and haven’t figured out what to give up yet, here are a few ideas.

Things To Root Out

Drunkenness
Gossip
Porn
Whining/Complaining
Bragging/showing off
Negativity
Laziness
Arguing
Judging People
Comparing yourself to others
Anger
Impure TV shows, books, movies, music (Clean up your iTunes, your hard disk, your PC)
Cursing
Pride
Rudeness
Envy

Things to sacrifice

Favorite snacks / sodas
TV
Social media
Make up
Nail polish
Jewelry
Social events
Shopping
Secular music
The snooze button
Fast/junk food
Sugar
Your pillow
Your bed (sleep on the floor)
Hot showers/baths
Staying up late (give yourself a bedtime and stick to it)
Alcohol
Movies
Your favorite colour
Using your phone during meals or when with people
Give up all drinks except water

Pray some more daily

Don’t use your phone in the morning till you’ve read from a spiritual book (at least, 10 minutes reading)
Say prayers as a family.
Say morning prayers.
Say evening prayers.
Go to daily mass.
Meditate for 15 minutes.
Read a bible chapter.
Read the mass readings.
Pray the rosary or a decade, at least.
Finally join a bible study group.
Subscribe to some good Christian blogs.
Pray instead of playing music when you drive.
Pay attention in church.
Go to confession. Do it.
Ask your family and friends for their prayer needs and actually pray for them. Choose a different person to pray for each day.

Give alms

Give away all the money you save from making a Lenten practice. Gave up social media? Donate your data money.
Step up your tithing from 10% to 15%.
Choose a currency denomination and resolve to give away every note of it you get as change. E.g. Choose to give (and not spend) every N100 (and smaller note) you get.
Give a compliment to a different person every day.
Perform an act of kindness daily.
Call a relative you haven’t spoken to in ages.
Give time to a good cause.

Other ideas

Make your bed immediately you wake.
Wash your dishes immediately you use them.
Stop being a Whatsapp ninja, call someone.
Stop being a phone call ninja, visit someone.

We’re advised to pick one or two of these practices and be intentional about them. The idea isn’t the act itself, it’s the sacrifice required to perform the act. So don’t pick “sacrificing social media” if you’re going to be in a remote village without Internet, anyways.

I find that simply choosing one sacrifice presents me with numerous opportunities to actually live that sacrifice. The temptations are so strong. Take the snooze button, for instance. I know people (read: yours truly) who set their alarms for 5am so they can wake up at 5:30am. The battle to jump up immediately the alarm rings is not a small one. And how about sticking to a preset bedtime? Isn’t it when you’ve decided to go to bed at 10pm that something interesting starts trending on Twitter at 9:50pm? And don’t even let me start with the social media fasting! Going cold turkey might be easy; staying cold turkey is the problem. The itch to check your Instagram feed, the burn to tweet a brilliant line, the lure of BN and Linda Ikeji and Nairaland and even this blog 😊…

But we can do it! We will try. So help us, God. We pray for grace, and strength for Lent, and also after Lent. Hopefully, our secret practices become lifelong habits and the beginning of a deeper relationship with God. May the blessings of this season be on us all.

What other ideas would you add to the list above? What could people give up or start doing for Lent?

My Natural Hair Regime: Daily, Weekly, Monthly

Published by Osemhen

I’ve been asked many times about a simple weekly regimen for natural hair care. So I’m going to share what works for me. I’m pretty lazy about my hair, I’m not always faithful to this regimen, I’m not an expert and if your hair is different from mine, your results might be different. That said, here goes.

Taking care of natural hair involves balancing the protein and moisture needs of your hair. Experience usually teaches you whether your hair needs more protein or moisture. Mine needs more moisture.

Daily Routine

Fill a spray bottle with one table spoon of vegetable glycerin, two tablespoons of any oil of your choice (olive, coconut, jojoba etc.) and top up with water. Shake well and spritz your hair.
If your hair is short enough, you can comb it. If not, just use your fingers to detangle it. Fun fact: nobody expects natural hair to be sleek and smooth. Don’t stress yourself.
Style your hair.
Sleep with a scarf on. It’ll preserve your hairstyle and protect your hair from drying out.

Short Afro puff

Weekly Routine (short hair)

Co-wash hair with a cheap conditioner. I recommend VO5.
Air dry hair.
Apply leave-in conditioner and seal with an oil or butter. I recommend Cantu Shea Leave-In and whipped Shea butter. Some naturals apply a moisturizing cream too but I don’t. It weighs my hair down.
Style hair.

Wild hair, don’t care!

Weekly Routine (long hair)

See step 3 above.
Co-wash hair every two weeks.

Monthly

Deep condition hair. Alternate moisturizing conditioners and protein conditioners.

I use CPR Deep Conditioner for protein and Aubrey’s Organics Honeysuckle conditioner for moisturizing. If you’re a DIY person, you could make a protein conditioner by mixing one egg yolk with two tablespoons of honey. For a moisturizing treatment, blend one overripe banana with two tablespoons of honey and two tablespoons of olive oil. Lol. People tease that natural hair eats better than its owners (#foodnothairproduct) but hey 🙂

That’s about it. All that’s left to add is to be sure to deep condition your hair before and after you do a long term hairstyle like braids or fixing a weave.

Above all, be patient with your hair. It’s unique to you, and doesn’t have to be like anybody else’s. Give it time, it will grow. Have fun with it. Enjoy it. It’s an accessory so don’t let it dominate your whole life. Make it work for you. 😀