All posts tagged: adulthood

To The Acquaintance I Met Who Still Refuses To Say Hi

Published by Osemhen

Dear Acquaintance, We’ve met. You know we’ve met. I know you know we’ve met. You know I know you know we’ve met. We met when your brother introduced us after mass many months ago. Or we met when our toddlers both reached for the same toy at that group play date thing we go to every other month. Or we met way back when our parents used to attend the same rotary club meetings and we stood behind them, silent teenagers, as they discussed random things. We sha met. But Acquaintance, you seem to have forgotten we’ve met. Last month, I caught sight of you as I hurried towards church. I looked at you, ready to smile and say Hi, but you stared past me stonily. It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so frightening. You frighten me. Your indifference reminds me of mean girls in secondary school and I thought we left such antics in 2003. Have I offended you in the past? Do you regret us meeting? Would you rather I pretended that …

28.

Published by Osemhen

I turned 28 two months ago. Usually, I’d write a blogpost to commemorate but I wasn’t in the right place mentally at the time.  I am now. What does 28 mean to me? It’s a question I’ve struggled with but also a question that’s very easy. 28 is familiar, like an old sweater. Like I’ve spent all my life waiting to be 28. Like I was born to be 28. I’ve never felt this way about any other age. Does this make sense? Physical identity meant a great deal to me when I was 28 years old. I had almost the same kind of relationship with my mirror that many of my contemporaries had with their analysts. Don DeLillo, Americana 28 is… The age of  “unlearning”.  The age of courage. Of being able to unpack the baggage, the myths, the cliches, the “home training”. They were useful…once. When we were younger and life was easier with a playbook, a rulebook. But life’s so much complicated. And it’s so much work to be likable. And how …

The Woman You Married

Published by Osemhen

Look. Look at her, the woman you married. Look at her dozing as she nurses your child, make-up still on her face, one shoe off. Look at her doing the last of the dishes in the evening, still in her work clothes. Look at her as she patiently spoons rice into your toddler’s mouth, barely flinching as the child spills yet another cupful of water on the floor. Look at her. Look at her “adulting”. Trying to adult. Trying to be her mother, and her aunts, and her grandmothers. Trying to do it all, like she’s seen them do it all. Wear lace, walk in heels, attend weddings, go to the market, manage the domestic staff, do the last load of laundry. Can you tell we’re actually just little girls playing dress-up in our mothers’ lives? Look at her, smiling gamely as the baby places hands sticky with drool on her face. Look at her teaching your daughter to lace her shoes. Look at her, sighing with disgust at the fact that her jeans no longer …

The 3 Types of Morning

Published by Osemhen

The Perfect Morning Wake at 4:00 am. Wash face. Study till 5:00 am. At 5:00 am Read Bible. Read Mass Readings. Meditate. At 5:30, change into sneakers and workout pants. Go for morning walk/run. At 6 am, shower. At 6:30 am, review work plan for the day. At. 6:40 am, sit down to “fit-fam” breakfast of oatmeal, boiled eggs and one slice of bread. At 7:00 am, brew first cup of coffee and start the day with morning meeting. The Imperfect Morning. Snooze alarm till 5:15 am. Wash face. Read Bible. Read mass readings. Meditate and say a vocal prayer (just in case you don’t get time to say it later.) At 5:45 change into work out clothes. Notice slight cramp in right part of abdomen. Debate the wisdom of running/walking around till it goes away. Decide to do simple, non-calorie burning stretches. At 6:00 am, check Whatsapp messages. At. 6:15, shower. At 6:50 sit down to breakfast and scoff down (fat-fam!) fried plantain and scrambled eggs to beat the 7 am deadline. Wrap a slice of …

The Contentment Challenge

Published by Osemhen

The best part of being an adult is earning proper money. You can’t convince me otherwise; when I compare my childhood to my adulthood, the key difference is that I can now buy myself a tin of Danish cookies as often as I like 🙂 And I can now buy myself a host of other things. Stuck as I am in this limbo where I earn money but don’t have corresponding responsibilities (no family yet), it’s an incredibly liberating feeling. I can literally buy myself anything I want. If it’s expensive, I just need to save up and it’s mine. Awesome. And unnerving. I consider myself a rational person, not given to frivolous purchases or impulse shopping. When I was younger, I learnt the importance of buying things on an as-needed basis. New books? Because I needed them for school. Handbag? Because I needed to carry my stuff around. New sweater? The old one had holes in it. Having a small allowance made this prioritization a must. But I’ve noticed things have changed. About a …