Don’t flinch when the doctor asks to examine you. Act like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like you regularly take off your top and bra for anyone who asks you. When he recommends a lumpectomy, shrug and say ‘Cool’. Because you are. Cool. You’re not a sissy, you do not shy away from pain or discomfort. Do not read Chioma’s article on the same subject. It will frighten you. Listen politely to your aunt who advocates that you pray away the lump instead of surgery. Pick a local anaesthesia over a general. Sometimes, people don’t wake up from the latter. Ask the doctor if you can take your iPod with you into the theatre, seeing as you’ll be awake. You might get bored. When he says yes, go home and prepare a surgery playlist. Tell your best friend you’re having a lumpectomy. Prepare to explain to her ignorant ass what a lumpectomy is. Tell other friends. Prepare  to answer questions like, “You let a doctor feel you up? Did you like it? …