All posts tagged: Marriage

Does Your Wife Have Natural Hair?

Published by Osemhen

Congratulations! You have either convinced a naturalista to become your wife Or your wife has decided to stop putting relaxers in her hair. Either way, you have become a member of a club few know exist until they join it. Welcome to the Husbands of Natural Haired Wives Association (HNHWA, pronounced huhn-wah). You will meet your fellow HNHWs at the natural hair meet-ups your wife might on occasion drag convince you to attend. You will also meet them in church when the wives step aside to discuss twist-outs and salon recommendations. And maybe, one day, you’ll meet a fellow HNHW in the hair product aisle of your neighbourhood supermarket. You will recognize his bemusement at the difference between Cantu Shea Butter and Shea Moisture. You will recommend he buy both to avoid “trouble in his marriage”. Here are a few other helpful tips you should know. No, your wife is not haemorrhaging from a huge gash on her scalp. That red/brown stain on your pillow case/white tee-shirt/car head-rest is henna that has bled off her hair. It …

When I Say I Love You

Published by Osemhen

So I listened to this interesting video today And the rabbi essentially makes the point that many times, when we say we love someone (or something), we actually mean that we love what that person (or thing) does for us. E.g. I love fried chicken. So I kill a chicken and fry it. Does that sound like love of chicken or love of the taste of fried chicken? He extends the analogy to “falling in love”. When a woman falls in love, does she love the man or she loves how he makes her feel? It sounds cold, doesn’t it? I love this man because we make (or people say we make) a cute couple, and we share mutual interests, and have compatible life philosophies, and it makes financial sense to me to split living expenses and child-rearing costs? Bonus points for the fact that I enjoy his company and the gratification that comes with being married in a society that places value on these things. Fish love. And I’m wondering if fish-love is such a …

The Woman You Married

Published by Osemhen

Look. Look at her, the woman you married. Look at her dozing as she nurses your child, make-up still on her face, one shoe off. Look at her doing the last of the dishes in the evening, still in her work clothes. Look at her as she patiently spoons rice into your toddler’s mouth, barely flinching as the child spills yet another cupful of water on the floor. Look at her. Look at her “adulting”. Trying to adult. Trying to be her mother, and her aunts, and her grandmothers. Trying to do it all, like she’s seen them do it all. Wear lace, walk in heels, attend weddings, go to the market, manage the domestic staff, do the last load of laundry. Can you tell we’re actually just little girls playing dress-up in our mothers’ lives? Look at her, smiling gamely as the baby places hands sticky with drool on her face. Look at her teaching your daughter to lace her shoes. Look at her, sighing with disgust at the fact that her jeans no longer …

My Pregnancy Diary: Part 2

Published by Osemhen

Thank you to everyone who responded to my call for feedback in my last post! It was very helpful and I will definitely be taking your ideas onboard. The winners of the giveaway are Ife, Sumbo and Nikki *rings bell* Congratulations! I’ll contact you directly on how to get your prizes. For everyone else, don’t worry. I have more giveaways planned this year! Now on to today’s post. Announcing our Baby I must be honest. Kae and I discussed whether going public with our pregnancy would be a good thing. The typical thing is to keep it private. Understandably. On one hand, there’s the superstition associated with sharing good news. Some believe it attracts envy, jealousy, ill-feelings, “bad bele” and in some cases, voodoo against the unborn child. Some others just want to enjoy these precious moments with only family members and close friends. And besides, being private about it means no awkward explanations are needed if there’s a miscarriage, a still-birth or other complications. Then there’s aesthetics. There are women who don’t think they look good …