Dear Random-Guy-Who-Asked-If-He-Could-Share-My-Mini-Umbrella-At-The-Busstop
Dear Random-Guy-Who-Asked-If-He-Could-Share-My-Mini-Umbrella-At-The-Busstop,
I don’t judge you for not having your own umbrella. I don’t even hesitate when you ask if you can share mine, despite seeing how small it is, and how it really is only meant to shelter one small person from the rain. Me. I don’t complain that I have to raise it really high now, to accommodate your hulk, or that my genuine L. Credi bag is now getting wet. I don’t complain because I’m only doing the Christian thing by sharing. There is love in sharing etc. etc. etc.
However, you stretch my charity by presuming that because I’m sharing my umbrella, then I am open to conversation. Please understand. Do not feel obliged to fill the silence. It may not be companionable, but it is certainly not awkward. I was lost in my thoughts before you came along, I will continue to be lost in my thoughts. Your attempts at conversation are, at best, distractions. At worst, annoying.
“It’s like you’re not in a good mood,” you say after giving me the elevator pitch of your life history. I am glad that you have managed to correctly interpret my monosyllabic answers/utter silence. However, you ruin this by adding, “When can we see again?”
What? What?!
Believe me, I can imagine how hard it is, as a guy, to work up the nerve to strike up conversation with a total stranger. I understand that you want to maximize the returns on this risk for what it’s worth. But after correctly deducing that I amn’t in a friendly mood, why do you now assume that I will give you my number/address/BB pin?
“I only want to be your friend…”
“I just saw you and liked you…”
“You never know when next we’ll see…”
“Can you hear me?…”
Because I really don’t like to be rude, I explain in a firm, I-brook-no-further-argument tone why I will not give you my number/BB pin/address. I ask that you not take it personal, that it is only a principle I live by.
But you don’t listen. You start to croon, ” Baby, please. Come on, don’t be like this.” It is at this point I start to beat you with my umbrella…
“Well, madam. I’m pleased to inform you that you’re pregnant.” I face the do
Value : a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important
In typical eurekanaija fashion, I’d like to talk about my favourite books of 2015. My criteria
Comments
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Osemhen
LOL! I know, right? “He fixed her with his soulful eyes, and she melted under the intensity of his gaze. ‘Yes, yes, you may have my number.'”
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Chidi
Hahahaha. They are all over the place
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Nnaemeka
Er…who is L. Credi?? LOL!
I missed your posts. This is good. I do think you should’ve known he was a klutz when he didn’t offer to hold up the umbrella so you wouldn’t need to super-elongate your arm. That’s what super-smooth gentlemen like me do. 🙂
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Osemhen
Hmph. Uncultured, young man. L. Credi is an Italian bag maker *tosses curls*. Lol.
Don’t mind him! I trust you, Suave Inc.
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A.fay
This is sooo hilarious and might I say you speak for me and a million other girls out there. Thank you very much. Loool.
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Mercy Ilevbare
Hahahahahhahaha!!! After one too many episodes like the one you have so aptly described…I have decided to play the “earphones in my ear” “can’t hear you gal”…..okay not very nice but very peaceful….lol
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BengKing
Osemhen,
This is not fair. I mean the way you cracked me up! -
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proteus92
I was just laughing quietly as I read this. Poor guy.
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highlandblue
Lol @ the last line. Come on! You need to do one post on the guy who shared his umbrella with you. Or the one who gave you a lift in the rain. 😐
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Sir Farouk
Chai as we used to say “ela odukon” lol. Poor fellow and poor you for experiencing the persistent naija man
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Sir Farouk
LOl you know never really knew the proper spelling of the saying. Now I know. :). You’re a good teacher.
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Jide Kastroni Olanrewaju
If we do not strike up conversations with total strangers how are we supposed to make new friends?
Don’t get the wrong idea though: that guy is dumb because of his manner of approach 😉
#justthinkingoutloud
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Osemhen
Lol. I know this is how we make friends. But it was late evening, and I was freaked out. And his approach sucked. Plus, a gentleman always respects a lady’s wishes. 😉
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@Wumie
Haha! My Days!!!
“It is at this point I start to beat you with my umbrella”
LMFAO…Lovely! -
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taiwo fagbo
Seriously I hope u didn’t beat him wiv ur umbrella.nice write up
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annaduchess
Lovely.
Guys need finishing schools too. Yes? -
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wumi
Can’t stop laffing. Thanks and Now I know dat violence is an still option.
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Oladimeji Oyebanji
Generally, i think ladies should try to ALWAYS say what they mean. Many guys believe d ‘hard to get’ game. I have heard many stories and got a personal experience.
I can remember it took me 10 months to get her to say YES. Thanks to a friend who told me not to give up after d very first attempt!
Nice piece and keep it up… -
Alani
Haba Osemhen, you need to be more generous. Grace under pressure.
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livelytwist
Hilarious! Enjoyed reading this and loved the ending: “But you don’t listen. You start to croon, ” Baby, please. Come on, don’t be like this.” It is at this point I start to beat you with my umbrella…”
I bet he didn’t give up and took your “charitable” beating as a sign of true love! -
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livelytwist
Reblogged this on livelytwist and commented:
Because you enjoyed my, I am Not Looking For Love, I am Going to Work, post, and because guys aren’t hitting on me everyday (it’s true!), I know you’ll enjoy eurekanaija!’s post as much as I did. We’re doing life together, so I couldn’t bear to laugh alone… -
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Abi
Gee! You sure know how to make the mundane epic. I want to write like you when I grow up 🙂
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enajyte
I’m still laughing (with my colleague giving me corner bad eye). This is hilarious. Over zealous guy, forming romantic. Don’t blame him completely sha. Maybe you resembled his missing rib…lol
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seunodukoya
You’re crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, I mean that in a totally respectful I-know-how-you-feel/felt kind of way.
Thank you for giving me chuckles. And thank you; to Mrs. Beautiful Livelytwist for sharing.
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Lizzieebunoluwa
Hahaha…Hilarity!!!..Thanks to Lively Twist’s kind-hearted reblog….way funnier comments sef..
Beats me why people don’t appreciate the beautiful art of silence nor respect people’s privacy/thoughts ……P.s; Have you heard the smart comeback to,”There’s love in sharing”? …its “There’s peace in having your own”…lol
This comment never happened….Great read and laugh too…*Thumbs up!
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onyee
“I only want to be your friend…”
“I just saw you and liked you…”
“You never know when next we’ll see..”
Lol. very popular lines. Do they all memorize this? beginning to sound like a song our smfin. Lollll. niece piece Oseme
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Free dating worldwide
That guy just wanted to pick you up. I don’t think grown up men hate being rained on
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Tobechukwu. O
Cracker. 😅. My comic view
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chioma
Aww. You just ruined what could have been a nice Nigerian love story. Lol