All posts tagged: Twitter

This Is How.

This is how to break up with the juvenile, codeine addict who fancies himself Goth because he paints his fingernails black and wears black eyeliner. This is how to pretend to be miserable, because you’re supposed to be miserable after a break-up. This is how to blog about it. This is how to live life; a series of Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday-Saturday-Sundays that never get old, never change. This is how to be a yuppie. This is how to dress like a yuppie, in chiffon blouses and pencil-skirts and kitty heels. This is how to spend like a yuppie; on expensive cab rides, handbags purchased from Dubai, ice cream at Coldstone and movies with friends. This is how to wrap your box braids in a bun. This is how to arch an eyebrow. This is how to smile at a man you like; coy and charming. This is how to smile at a man you don’t like; looking him straight in the eye. This is how to smile at a woman so she feels flattered. This is how …

I'm Developing A Pot-Belly and Other Sundry Matters

And it sucks. Pun intended. Saturday, I travelled to Enugu. I’d never been there, and just the thought of the journey by road filled me with all sorts of queasiness. I imagined  armed robbers, deadly encounters with speeding trailers, flat tyres, the driver missing his way… Fortunately, things weren’t so exciting. The trip was 4 hours of unrelieved tedium I spent thinking, reading, wondering. About doing the right things versus doing what was right. About things like adulthood and responsibility and maturity. Someone once wrote that the first mark of maturity is serenity. If she’s right, then I don’t think I’ll ever be mature. I can’t be serene; I have some sort of mental Tourette’s. I fidget, and when I start talking, sometimes I can’t stop. It’s who I am. I can’t say I don’t wish I was serene. I do. But it’s not a gift the good Lord has seen fit to bless me with yet. Is adulthood something that happens to you whether or not you want it, or is it something you choose? …